Whose body is this?
I've asked myself this question multiple times since having baby number three! When I try squeezing into something from my pre pregnancy wardrobe that I know used to fit like a glove, or when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before jumping in the shower. Even when I see my reflection in a shop window! But it's also a question that kinda played on my mind during all three of my pregnancies – ‘Whose body is this?’ Surely this leaky, kinda jiggly, awkward looking body that I see after three beautiful kids isn't mine?
Falling pregnant with my first baby at nineteen, I remember so clearly thinking ‘how the f*#@ do I dress this body that no longer belongs to just me? A body that I have no real control over anymore!’ I felt completely uncomfortable in my own skin. Totally new to the world of maternity clothes and all the new and unknown things that come with being pregnant for the first time, I was lost.
When I look back at the wardrobe choices I made during my first pregnancy I actually cringe. I had no idea there were stylish, comfortable options to cover that big belly of mine. I struggled to feel beautiful and can quite clearly remember sitting in a blubbering mess on the floor, surrounded by clothes that didn't fit, wondering how I was ever going to go at least another five months with absolutely nothing to wear! I am embarrassed to say I gave in to those hideous 3/4 maternity work pants, and they sadly made their way from my maternity work wear to my every day wear in those last months of pregnancy (eek) because that was all I knew.
How is a young woman who already feels uncomfortable with her ever changing body, supposed to feel beautiful about herself or even have a chance to enjoy those amazing moments that come with pregnancy, when the clothes she has to wear in no way reflect herself or her personality?
A little over two years later I fell pregnant with my second daughter and I flat out refused to buy any maternity wear. I wasn't going down that 3/4 pants road again. I squeezed my way into bigger sizes and made do with clothes that again, didn't reflect me - but hey, at least they kinda fit!
As women we all want to feel beautiful and comfortable in our own bodies. We give up so much of ourselves for these gorgeous babies of ours and YES of course they're worth it all- The leaky boobs, sore bits, jiggly bits, bags under our eyes and all the rest that come with being pregnant and being a mum. But why do we have to completely lose ourselves just because we are pregnant? That's exactly how I felt. Like I'd lost myself during my first pregnancies.
Flash forward another two years, and call me crazy, I'd decided ‘hey what's one more to add to the mad house?!’ Pregnant with my third baby and in a very different headspace, knowing this baby would more than certainly be my last, I honestly tried to embrace all things pregnancy. I loved that growing belly of mine so much. But if you have had more than one baby, you will know that generally the second or third time round in my case you are generally bigger than the first time. This was definitely true for me. I grew out of my every day clothes pretty quickly, but unlike with my first two, the world of Instagram kind of saved me. That sounds ridiculous, but totally true. I was introduced to stylish maternity wear and OPTIONS, that weren't available to me before.
To be totally honest Blossom and Glow changed my outlook on maternity wear and I'm definitely not being paid to say this! It's cold hard truth. Kathryn made my pregnancy wardrobe choices not just bearable, but enjoyable, and for the first time ever I got to completely enjoy and appreciate my pregnancy without those stressful worries of trying to find something that would not just fit over my big belly, and be comfortable but would also flatter it and make me feel beautiful and confident about myself.
I was lucky enough to get to work with the beautiful Kathryn for a good part of my pregnancy and the time, care and love that she gives in picking each item of clothing is so evident. She truly thinks about the woman who will be wearing her clothing and to her I am forever grateful for giving me the opportunity to be able to comfortably enjoy my very last pregnancy wearing beautiful clothes.
Fourteen weeks after baby number three, I'm sitting here writing this and even though I still find myself looking in the mirror asking ‘whose body is this?’ I am now learning that if I absolutely love what I am wearing, generally I will feel beautiful no matter what the rest of me looks like. Of course I still have those days where I really don't want to get out of my pyjamas because the thought of having to throw together an outfit that'll work on this new body I'm just getting to know, really just seems like to much to deal with. But the key is to try and embrace the changes to your new mumma body and make clothing choices that are going to flatter the parts of you, that you do love! I myself am still trying to learn this and trying to embrace all the changes that have come with having my beautiful baby boy.
So to all the mummas who find themselves staring at a body that they aren't quite sure is really theirs still, I feel ya! Remember you aren't alone!
Sophia is a mum of three gorgeous children. She shares her beautiful motherhood journey on her blog, Six Feet Deep, and on instagram. Sophia is wearing our beautiful Island Boho Maxi Dress available here.
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